songs of the heart; prayer of lament

from my message on March 25, 2012, from Psalm 137

I have a very great truth to tell you. Its as true as the fact that the wildflowers this year are magnificent. The bluebonnets are so thick you can wade into them like walking into a lake. They are so thick that you can even smell them. And the other flowers are wonderful too, the reds of Indian paint brush and Mexican hat, the purples and the yellows. There is a riotous display of the goodness of God's creation. What I have to tell you is just as true, but much harder to bear.

The truth is that there is a lot of violence in the world, much of it directed at children. You have kept up with the news of this past week. An American soldier, seemingly a really good guy, leaves his post in Afghanistan with his rifle, and shoots 17 people dead, over half of them children. There is a lot of hatred in this world. The event happend weeks ago but has gained public attention, where a 17 yr old youth, gets shot seemingly because his skin was black and he was wearing a hoodie in a neighborhood where that was unusual.. There is a lot of anger in this world. A Frenchman shoots 3 paratroopers, and then 3 Jewish children and a teacher outside of their school. SOme reports say he did it to get back for all of the deaths of Palestinian children.

Maybe you can see where I am going with this, how it connects with Ps 137. During Lent, I have been preaching from the Psalms as songs of our heart. Today it is a prayer of lament, a cry of grief, sorrow, even rage. The whole range of human emotions and experiences are captured in the Psalms. The Hebrew people desired revenge. They had been taken into captivity in Babylon. Their neighbors, the Edomites had then come in and destroyed their homes and lands. The Hebrews wanted to get to back at their enemies. There is that awful last line in the psalm. I have never preached on this passage before, in 34 years. We wish this line wasn't in our Bible, take the children of our enemies and dash their heads against the wall.. This is horrible.

Hold on...be honest, Tell the truth. I suspect we have felt that way at some time in our lives. We were so angry, we wanted to get back, to get even, to exact revenge. This is theme of so many books, movies, tv shows, video games. "IF I ever get my hands on them, I will kill them.."

Our worship team meets on Tuesdays. When they asked me about the theme of this message, they replied that I could use the Hunger Games. I didn't anything about this phenomena until last Sunday when I read a review in our local paper. This trilogy of books has been on the NY Times Bestseller list for over 180 weeks. The movie just opened this week. Diana gave me a copy of the first book. I read it over Wed and Thurs. To complete my research, I went to see the movie on Friday morning for the first show at 9:45 a.m. The theater was full. What was going on? The plot is this: after a rebellion is put down, the survivors are divided into 12 colonies which are ruled by the capitol. Each year, each colony must send a male and female from their area, between 12 and 18 years of age, to represent them in the Hunger Games. These 24 contestants, children, fight and kill each other until there is only 1 winner left. The children are called "tributes." They are really sacrifices. They are to remind the people of the terribel cost of rebellion. This book and movie are NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN. It is full of violence. The truth is that we live in a world full of violence, much of it directed at children.

I will tell you a deeper truth. Anger is often a secondary emotion. If you dig underneath, you will nearly always find hurt. We've been wounded, we've been wronged, so we get angry. We resort to violence, to getting even.

As Christians, as followers of Christ, what do we do with this angeer and desire of revenge? We have the baptism of 3 children today. I was talking to the mom, giving her a warning of what the scripture was for today. I said this was one of the hardest messages I had ever delivered. Alison said, "Of course we have to speak of these things; of course we have these feelings. But you don't have to act on them. That's why we speak of them and feel them." Walter Bruggeman, a great biblical scholar says, "Unless loss is examined & understood, newness will not happen."

I am glad this psalm is in our Bible. It gives us permission to pray, even an angry prayer. We can lament a loss. Could we stop protecting God? Can we trust God with our true feelings? Do you think God is big enough to take it? Many years ago in another church, I had a couple who were both in recovery. They were both working the steps towards wholeness. They were active in worship, in small groups, in missions, in prayer. They ate right, exercised, rested. He was a mail carrier, walking several miles a day. For fun, he would run in races like today's Capitol 10K. One day on his route, he dropped dead just like that. They rushed him to the hospital. He didn't revive. I was in the chapel with his wife and their recovery community. She said, "Let's pray." We gathered in a circle in the chapel. She said, "God, sh-t, why did you blankety-blank take my husband..." She trusted God enough to be real. She got it out. Bruggeman says, "If we don't get it out, otherwise we will express it unhealthily. Also in prayer, we take the focus off of ourselves and turn it on to God."

I will tell you the truth. This passage makes me have to deal with my own desire for revenge. There is at least 1 person whom I think I can never forgive. The relationship happened in the church, of course. In the church where we reveal our deepest feelings, our soul, we can get hurt the most. What do we do with such rage, desire for violence?

I have a story for you. It comes from Bishop Dorff, who had lunch at our church on Tuesday with some 9 of us area pastors, including our District Superintendent. We had gathered because we are all working towards becoming radically inclusive, by affiliating with the Reconciling Ministries Network. This means we welcome lesbians, gays, bisexual, and transgendered folks. We have 1 Sunday School class, the Journeys Class, that is so affiliated. So Bishop Dorff told us of attending worship at St. Luke's Community UMC in Dallas, where Zan Holmes was the preacher. Zan was one of my preaching professors in seminary. Zan shared the story of how his computer crashed. I know this has never happened to you. Oh, it is frustrating. What do you do? You call tech support. They connect you with someone in....INDIA. This techie takes you thru steps and menus.....and you get more frustrated. Zan was doing everything the tech guy said, but nothing was working. Finally, the tech guy said, "There is one more thing we can try, but you are going to have to trust me." "What's that?" "I can take over your computer." "You can do that from where you are?" "Yes, but when we get to this one page, there will be an icon that you must click on." "What icon is that?" "The button you will need to hit says, SUBMIT."

The only way I can pray for my enemies, to give my anger and desire for revenge is to SUBMIT. I look to Jesus, the One on the cross who said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." I may never be able to forgive, but maybe Jesus can, for me, if I submit.

That's the good news I have to share...and that's the truth.