from my message on Nov. 16, 2014, from Matthew 25:14-30
Thank you. Thank you for your prayers. I was not here last Sunday. I missed leading worship for the first time in 36 1/2 years of ministry, because 12 days ago I had a spot removed from my tongue. I appreciate all of the cards, letters, emails, but especially your prayers.
I thank the competent staff members we have here and the faithful lay leadership. I thank my medical team: Tony, my dentist, and Geoff my primary care doc. I thank my ENT doc, an Aggie like myself, who went far beyond veterinarian medicine.
I thank my wife, Cathy who has been terrific. She has given me foot massages to take my focus off my tongue. She has made interesting smoothies, including a spinach apple one.
12 days ago, a very small, less than 1 mm lesion was removed from my tongue. This past week the pathology revealed that it had squamous cell carcinoma. Scans of my neck and chest on Wednesday this past week proved to be all clear, so no spread. So we caught it small and early. Word to all of you, especially you men, please do your well care checkups. Please don't play tough; ask for help when you need it.
In an abundance of caution, my ENT doc is going to take out the margins from the former site. That means I will have another surgery this Friday morning and will not be in worship next Sunday. Pastor Nancy will preach.
About this time, I can hear you say, "Mabel, he looks really good up there. He talks just fine. He looks like he walked 20,818 steps, 10.1 miles, on his pedometer yesterday at McKinney Falls State Park. I bet he just had this surgery to get out of preaching about stewardship last week."
No, I really enjoy preaching, even about stewardship. I am here today to lower anxiety. I wanted to talk with you directly, calmly so we could move on as a church. This passage of scripture is about stewardship, how we handle all that has entrusted with us, but it even more about dealing with anxiety. Will we respond to God's gracious gifts out of fear or out of faith? Will we respond out of joy or anxiety?
I have preached on this passage numerous times over the years. This time, I had a fantasy. I imagined Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, the Gospel writers, engaged in a video conference call. This would be a neat trick since they lived not only in different places but in different decades. Anyhow, Luke says, "Someday in the future churches are going to have stewardship campaigns and will need some stories from Jesus about return on investment. Anybody got something?"
Matthew says, "Yes, I do. It's the one where the master trusts his property to his servants. The one who had 5 talents made 5 more talents. The one with 2 made 2 more. The one with 1 hid his in the ground."
Luke, "Yeah, but how does that end?"
Matthew, "Not so great. The one with one talent was afraid. He hid his talent in the ground. He was cast out where there was great wailing and gnashing of teeth."
Luke, "That's harsh. He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't embezzle, swindle, commit fraud, or waste it. In fact, he followed rabbinic law which said if somebody entrusted you with their money and you buried it in the ground, you were no longer liable for it."
Matthew, "Yes, but he played it safe. He didn't do anything with it. He took no risks. Someday there may be a pastor in Westlake Hills who is too nice, too forgiving, who will need a passage to challenge people."
I don't know why but Mark and John remained silent.
So you see this is not just a passage about stewardship but more about fear, fear of risking, fear of taking responsibility.
I went back to work this past Monday. The first thing I did was attend my continuing ed. course on family systems with Dr. Doug Hester. The topic was regression: how under stress and anxiety, people tend to move to lower maturity levels. People will act to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than act on principle and long term views. People will look for quick fixes. A rabbi/psychotherapist I like, Edwin Friedman, once said, "the pursuit of certainty today is a form of idolatry."
Can you identify? Do you know something about anxiety? I started to bring you a blood pressure cuff. I wanted to see how you would respond to the following words: ebola.......global warming......the so called Islamic State......Russia invading Ukraine.
The news media doesn't help. They feed our addiction for more anxiety. There was a wonderful cartoon in the paper this past Wednesday from the comic strip B.C. A man is handing stone tablet for the broadcast to the presenter. "Here's your copy of tonight's news cast." The presenter responds, "It's exactly the same as yesterday." "Just read it." The presenter shouts, "Everybody panic!" In the last frame, the presenter asks, "Should I just hand onto this for tomorrow night?" "Might as well."
Anxiety cuts off options. We bury ourselves in fear. We lose perspective. Don't you wish there was a way out?
There is way. You are practicing it right now. Being in worship is the best thing you can do in this anxious world. The way out is following Jesus, responding to God's gracious gifts by giving thanks, by giving back. ROI could stand for risking over insecurity, or releasing our insecurity.
I have known some anxiety lately....with this cancer diagnosis on my tongue. The Monday night before my Tuesday surgery, we had a church council meeting. Kay the chairperson and I were in the kitchen getting ice from the machine. She asked, "How are you doing with that?" "I'm scared," I said. "I scared of the pain. I'm scared I won't be able to talk well." She said, "I get it. I have a place on my tongue too." Then I got to say the line I had been waiting all of my life to say, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." Kay stuck out her tongue at me. I stuck out my tongue at her. This moment will go on my highlight film of best moments in ordained ministry!
Humor is a great way for dealing with our anxiety. We need more humor in the church! We need each other to keep perspective.
We need to worship. Last Sunday, I attended the early service at Oak Hill UMC. I say way in the back by myself. I was just starting to talk again, to chew again. You don't know how much you miss chewing until it is taken away from you. They had the sacrament of communion. The bread was real crusty. I dipped in the juice. "The body of Christ, the blood of Christ." I wept. It was what I was hungry for. It is the treasure that we have been given. We need not bury it. The world is hungry for what we have. Let's share it.
I have been reflecting on how I have invested my life. I would not take back a single moment I have spent preaching the gospel. I would not trade anything for Bible studies I've led or Sunday School lessons I've taught. I would still choose to sleep on that thin mattress on that bunk bed in New Orleans church so I could do home repair after Hurricane Katrina. I would not take back leaning on the hood of a Suburban with youth from San Saba at 2 a.m. while they questioned why their friend, the star quarterback was killed in a boating accident. I would still make those 1000's of hospital calls, because now I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. I would not take back any of the money I have given in church, because it was never mine to begin with. All I have I have been given. All I have given has been multiplied many times over for good, for God.
The last Sunday before my surgery was All Saints. As I worshiped here, I thought, "If I am not going to be able to speak much anymore, I want some of my last words to be 'Alleluia.'" I sang out loud.
What will you do? Will you operate out of fear or out of joy? I want to hear the master say to me someday, "Well done, good and trustworthy servant. You have been faithful over a little. I will trust you with even more. Enter into the joy of your master!"
Amen.
