from my message on June 29, 2014, from Romans 7:15-25a
Are you good enough? I am here to tell you that by the grace of Jesus Christ, you are good enough. You could leave right now and have gotten the whole message.
This is a message for perfectionists and those people who deal with perfectionists, so I guess that's everybody here. I don't always preach this way, so be prepared for some antics.
First, we start with a You Might be a Perfectionist quiz, modeled after Jeff Foxworth's You Might Be a Redneck. Jeff said, If you ever mowed the lawn and found a car there, you might be a redneck.
If all of you're emails, tweets, and Facebook posts are free of spelling errors....then you might be a perfectionist
If you noticed the typo in the previous item.....
If you ignore the 12 great reviews to fret about the 1 lousy one.....
If you have the urge to be everything to everybody.......
If you have ever felt that you were unworthy of love or belonging.....
If you didn't try something new because you might fail......
If you were eager to point out others' faults to minimize yours.......
If you were afraid to share your vulnerability......
If you ever felt you weren't skinny enough, rich enough, smart enough, nice enough, strong enough, popular enough, creative enough.....Then you might be a perfectionist
Do we have any perfectionists here? Can you identify with Paul in this passage from Romans? I don't understand my own actions. What I want to do, I don't do. The thing I don't want to do, I do. Wretched man that I am!
I am a perfectionist. I think if I could just control my actions, get everything just right, be good enough, then i would be acceptable to God and others. I work really hard to keep up the facade that I am perfect.
It's not what God intends for us, this living in secret shame. We learn these roles early on. I am the eldest son. I have always been super-responsible. Here's the story that characterizes my perfectionism. It is December of my junior year in high school. I am showing my dad my first semester report card. I say, "Look, Dad, I made a 98 in chemistry." To which my dad replied, "Don't they give 100's anymore?" I was crushed. "But it was the highest grade in the class. It is an A+."
It didn't matter. No matter what I do, how hard I work, it never feels good enough.
Our director of music and worship, Diana, loaned me a book on this subject. It is by Brune' Brown, and it is called the Gifts of Imperfection. She named 3 gifts: Courage, Compassion, and Connection. Courage comes from the Latin cour for heart. One is to speak from one's heart. Compassion means to set appropriate boundaries, to know what is your stuff and what is others' stuff. You can take care of your stuff so that you can be available to stand alongside others with their stuff. Connection means you can't do it alone. This work is best done in community.
While I am talking about this, you may be filling out that scratch piece of paper with something you want to let go of. You may have something you have been holding onto so tightly in your so-called perfectionism that you can't open your hand to the love Christ holds for you.
So, this past week I decided to open myself, to practice the gifts of imperfection. I was in a meeting. The talk turned to focus on me. The people were not intending to strike at me, yet their comments were wounding me. I said, "Hold on a sec. Let me tell you how what you are saying feels to me. My heart is racing. My breath is shallow. My mind is whirring. I feel like a little boy, ashamed of what I have done."
The dynamic of the conversation changed instantly. I had shown courage, compassion, and connection. It was liberating. Brune' Brown says, "Shame loves perfectionists, because it is so easy to keep us quiet."
In her book, she shares other ways to move beyond perfectionism. Play, music, and dance are some of those ways. They open the imagination. We are going to practice that now.
Learn this song with me:
That's the way it is by golly, that's the way it is by golly, that's the way it is by golly, that's the way it is.
So when you make a 98, and your dad says, "Don't they give 100's anymore," you sing, That's the way it is by golly.....
Write down on that scratch piece of paper what you want to let go of, what you have been holding onto so tightly that you can't be open to the love that Christ holds for you. Write down where you don't feel good enough, while we sing, That's the way it is by golly....
Now I have some kazoos for some of you. Add your sounds to the song while we write down where we don't feel good enough....That's the way it is by golly,....
Now I will have the ushers to come forward with the trash cans, notice that they are recycle bins, so you can throw those places where you don't feel good enough away while we sing...That's the way it is by golly...
I like how Paul ends this passage. He says, But thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ. I looked up this passage in the Greek. I was expecting the word for thanks to be eucharist, but it wasn't. The word was charis, the word for grace. Grace is God's unmerited love for us, a free gift, nothing we can do to earn it. That's the way it is by golly. By grace, you are good enough.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Monday, June 9, 2014
Spirits vs. Holy Spirit
from my message on June 8, 2014, Pentecost, from Acts 2:1-15
Are you thirsty? For what or for whom do you thirst?
When I first started in ministry, I didn't know very much. I was thirsty for knowledge. I would find myself talking with a family in the church, and things were fitting together right. I was confused. One person would be overfunctioning, rescuing everything and everybody. One would be quiet. One would be acting out. All would defer to one person as if they were afraid of him or her.
It wasn't until my third year out of seminary, when I was taking a course on chemical addictions and family systems, that things started to make sense. I took this course at Austin Community College with a bunch of recovering alcoholics. We read books together. We attended lectures together. I found out that alcoholism is a family disease. No one becomes an alcoholic by himself or herself. There are "enablers" around the alcoholic who all play their roles to help the alcoholic continue in their relationship with the chemical. I found out that denial and blame are two key signs of addiction. "I don't have a problem.....he is the problem, she is the problem...work is the problem.." I found out the drug always works...I don't mean to pick on just alcohol, it could be food, or sex, or gambling or work. The drug works on the reptilian part of our brains. It produces a feeling, a high, but we always come down lower from the high. Then we need more of the drug to achieve the high. We sink lower. There is a downward spiral. This is where shame comes in. We feel so out of control.
I was frustrated in class. All of my other classmates were in recovery programs. I wasn't. One night I said, "Listen, I don't get how I can ever help any body on drugs. I don't have a problem with alcohol. I don't even drink." One of the old alkies asked, "Have you ever been sick?" "Well, yes, of course!" "Well, we have a disease called alcoholism. We didn't ask to get it. It is progressive. But there is a treatment for it."
I found out that I could work with people who were addicted. When I was in one of those confusing family situations, I learned to start asking the question, "What role does alcohol or other drugs play in your family?"
Almost every time, people would reflect and say, "Oh, yeah, we do have a problem." I found out that the drug addiction was only 10% of the problem, but it was the first 10%. We couldn't get to the other 90% until we got rid of the fog, the miscommunication, the dysfunction of the drug.
Are you thirsty today? For what or for whom do you thirst?
We Methodists began as abstainers from alcohol. The Methodists were a reform movement within the Anglican Church in the 1700's. At that time the common working person's drug of choice was gin. It was cheap and plentiful. There was a saying at that time, "you can get drunk for a 1/2 penny, dead drunk for a penny." So the Methodists saw a problem with alcoholism. They were against hard liquor.
Where did grape juice come from, like we use at communion? There was a communion steward, one who prepares the communion elements, named Thomas Welch. He was a dentist. One time when he prepared the bread and wine for communion, a friend of his got started on a bender by drinking the wine at communion. Dr. Welch was determined to find an alternative. He took some crushed grapes and pasteurized them to keep them from fermenting. He made non-fermented grape sweet juice. I bet you have had Welch's grape juice. It rapidly caught on in the late 1800's and began to be used by Methodists and other denominations.
I saw an article in the Austin American-Statesman about a new church in Ft. Worth that billed itself as a Pub Church, complete with craft beer. This was not a Methodist Church. It was Lutheran. We continue to this day using grape juice, not wine.
Wine is found all through the Bible. Water purity was unreliable. Water was often mixed with wine. There are positive verses that talk about wine gladdening the heart. There are verses that caution about overindulging and having wine make a mockery of us. Jesus came eating and drinking the Gospel stories say. Wine was a part of the Last Supper.
On the day of Pentecost, the on-lookers couldn't understand what was going on. They thought that those who had been filled by the Holy Spirit had been filled with distilled spirits. "They're drunk," they accused. Peter and the others said, "No, they are filled with something better, the Spirit of God."
Are you thirsty? For what or for whom do you thirst?
M. Scott Peck calls alcoholism the sacred disease. We try to fill up on spirit when only Holy Spirit will satisfy. He calls all of our substitutes "Cheap grace." All the treatment programs of which I am aware are spiritually based. They have admit that we are powerless over the drug and that we need a higher power to save us.
The Holy Spirit can fill us and save us. It looks like Kevin's story ( go to our website YouTube channel to hear his testimony). Kevin just celebrated his first birthday of sobriety. It is like going from death to life.
Why am I talking about this today? I once had a member of my church in San Saba who said, "I found Jesus and salvation in AA (alcoholics anonymous). The church was afraid to address my disease." I am not afraid to talk about it, as it is one of the most pervasive issues around.
Let me do a little math with you. We have just over 800 members here. Some 62% of Methodists drink. That means 500 of us drink in this congregation. Ten percent of those who drink have a problem with alcohol. That means 50 of us have a problem.
Some of you have had the courage to talk with me about your disease. I try to work with the motivated people in families to get help. Thankfully, there are all kinds of resources nearby. We have an Al-Anon group that meets here on Fridays at noon for family members or friends of those who have problems with alcohol. There are 12 step groups that meet at all hours of the day and night all around town. There are wonderful treatment facilities at hand.
When you get really thirsty, come talk to me. Only the Holy Spirit can ever satisfy. That's the good news I have to share today.
Are you thirsty? For what or for whom do you thirst?
When I first started in ministry, I didn't know very much. I was thirsty for knowledge. I would find myself talking with a family in the church, and things were fitting together right. I was confused. One person would be overfunctioning, rescuing everything and everybody. One would be quiet. One would be acting out. All would defer to one person as if they were afraid of him or her.
It wasn't until my third year out of seminary, when I was taking a course on chemical addictions and family systems, that things started to make sense. I took this course at Austin Community College with a bunch of recovering alcoholics. We read books together. We attended lectures together. I found out that alcoholism is a family disease. No one becomes an alcoholic by himself or herself. There are "enablers" around the alcoholic who all play their roles to help the alcoholic continue in their relationship with the chemical. I found out that denial and blame are two key signs of addiction. "I don't have a problem.....he is the problem, she is the problem...work is the problem.." I found out the drug always works...I don't mean to pick on just alcohol, it could be food, or sex, or gambling or work. The drug works on the reptilian part of our brains. It produces a feeling, a high, but we always come down lower from the high. Then we need more of the drug to achieve the high. We sink lower. There is a downward spiral. This is where shame comes in. We feel so out of control.
I was frustrated in class. All of my other classmates were in recovery programs. I wasn't. One night I said, "Listen, I don't get how I can ever help any body on drugs. I don't have a problem with alcohol. I don't even drink." One of the old alkies asked, "Have you ever been sick?" "Well, yes, of course!" "Well, we have a disease called alcoholism. We didn't ask to get it. It is progressive. But there is a treatment for it."
I found out that I could work with people who were addicted. When I was in one of those confusing family situations, I learned to start asking the question, "What role does alcohol or other drugs play in your family?"
Almost every time, people would reflect and say, "Oh, yeah, we do have a problem." I found out that the drug addiction was only 10% of the problem, but it was the first 10%. We couldn't get to the other 90% until we got rid of the fog, the miscommunication, the dysfunction of the drug.
Are you thirsty today? For what or for whom do you thirst?
We Methodists began as abstainers from alcohol. The Methodists were a reform movement within the Anglican Church in the 1700's. At that time the common working person's drug of choice was gin. It was cheap and plentiful. There was a saying at that time, "you can get drunk for a 1/2 penny, dead drunk for a penny." So the Methodists saw a problem with alcoholism. They were against hard liquor.
Where did grape juice come from, like we use at communion? There was a communion steward, one who prepares the communion elements, named Thomas Welch. He was a dentist. One time when he prepared the bread and wine for communion, a friend of his got started on a bender by drinking the wine at communion. Dr. Welch was determined to find an alternative. He took some crushed grapes and pasteurized them to keep them from fermenting. He made non-fermented grape sweet juice. I bet you have had Welch's grape juice. It rapidly caught on in the late 1800's and began to be used by Methodists and other denominations.
I saw an article in the Austin American-Statesman about a new church in Ft. Worth that billed itself as a Pub Church, complete with craft beer. This was not a Methodist Church. It was Lutheran. We continue to this day using grape juice, not wine.
Wine is found all through the Bible. Water purity was unreliable. Water was often mixed with wine. There are positive verses that talk about wine gladdening the heart. There are verses that caution about overindulging and having wine make a mockery of us. Jesus came eating and drinking the Gospel stories say. Wine was a part of the Last Supper.
On the day of Pentecost, the on-lookers couldn't understand what was going on. They thought that those who had been filled by the Holy Spirit had been filled with distilled spirits. "They're drunk," they accused. Peter and the others said, "No, they are filled with something better, the Spirit of God."
Are you thirsty? For what or for whom do you thirst?
M. Scott Peck calls alcoholism the sacred disease. We try to fill up on spirit when only Holy Spirit will satisfy. He calls all of our substitutes "Cheap grace." All the treatment programs of which I am aware are spiritually based. They have admit that we are powerless over the drug and that we need a higher power to save us.
The Holy Spirit can fill us and save us. It looks like Kevin's story ( go to our website YouTube channel to hear his testimony). Kevin just celebrated his first birthday of sobriety. It is like going from death to life.
Why am I talking about this today? I once had a member of my church in San Saba who said, "I found Jesus and salvation in AA (alcoholics anonymous). The church was afraid to address my disease." I am not afraid to talk about it, as it is one of the most pervasive issues around.
Let me do a little math with you. We have just over 800 members here. Some 62% of Methodists drink. That means 500 of us drink in this congregation. Ten percent of those who drink have a problem with alcohol. That means 50 of us have a problem.
Some of you have had the courage to talk with me about your disease. I try to work with the motivated people in families to get help. Thankfully, there are all kinds of resources nearby. We have an Al-Anon group that meets here on Fridays at noon for family members or friends of those who have problems with alcohol. There are 12 step groups that meet at all hours of the day and night all around town. There are wonderful treatment facilities at hand.
When you get really thirsty, come talk to me. Only the Holy Spirit can ever satisfy. That's the good news I have to share today.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Casting Cares
from my message on June 1, 2014, from I Peter 5:6-11
Breathe in. Breathe out. As you breathe in, "Cast all your anxiety upon him." As you breathe out, "For he cares for you." Please keep breathing!
This is my gift to you today...a breath prayer. I can't tell you how many times I have used this scripture as a breath prayer. Especially at night. I know that I am the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night...my mind racing, my breath racing, my heart racing....tossing in bed...turning over thoughts in my head....where I failed...how much I have to do...worries...concerns...cares. Anybody else ever do this?
What I sometimes remember to do is to pray. I start slowing my breath down. I start to say this verse from I Peter, Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you. My heart rate goes down. My blood pressure goes down. When the particular anxiety comes to me, I throw it to God. I visualize the anxiety and toss it to God who cares for me.
Try it. This is my gift to you. And that would make a good message, just that alone, a breath prayer, casting our cares to God who loves us. That would be a witness to our faith also, that we would spend as much time and energy in praying to God as we do focusing on our anxiety. That was all I was going to say, a simple message of tossing our cares to God.
But I went deeper. I got to reading the commentaries. They gave me the context for this letter. In the year 64 A.D., there was a big fire in Rome. Nero, the emperor, blamed the fire on the Christians. Until this time, Christians were considered to be sort of a branch of the Jewish faith, and therefore protected under the government. By being made scapegoats for the fire, the Christians came to be persecuted. Some were harassed. Some were killed. Peter is writing to them to maintain hope during a time of trial. He says, Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you.
This may be our context today. You may get bullied at school for your beliefs. People at work may treat you unkindly for your faith stance. You may still need to claim this breath prayer as you deal with persecution for your faith today.
However, there are some places where it is difficult to be a Christian today, where persecution is very real. Can you imagine trying to live as a Christian in North Korea, or Iraq, or Egypt? Maybe our breath prayer today is to remember them when we say, Cast all your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you.
That would be a good message also. I could have quit there, but I went deeper. I got to reflecting on who I am today. I am a rich, white, male, leader of church. I get to stand here and lead worship. I have a lot of power. I wondered if I had ever hurt others by my stance.
I am not mean or vicious. I don't go out of my way to make life hard on others. But I was at a meeting on Thursday. Fourteen of us United Methodist pastors had gathered for lunch. We are all in various stages of becoming affiliated with the Reconciling Ministries Network. This is a group, a movement within the United Methodist Church to be totally accepting of all persons, especially those of the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender community. We had to confess. I had to confess. I had often been silent when I should have spoken up. I stood by silently while others were hurt for their stance. I realized as a leader in the church I had gotten on the other side of the power differential where I was persecuting people by my passive position.
Here I had to take a really deep breath. Cast all your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you. I have been pushed recently to take a leadership role in the Reconciling Ministries Network. I am now the coordinator/convener of the Austin area pastors.
I realize my need for forgiveness. The passage from I Peter says to humble ourselves, to turn to the God of all grace, who restores, strengthens, and establishes us.
I realize that this breath prayer is not just for me. The pronouns are all plural. It is "you all." That is what we are praying for "All of you cast your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you all."
That's the good news I have to share today.
Breathe in. Breathe out. As you breathe in, "Cast all your anxiety upon him." As you breathe out, "For he cares for you." Please keep breathing!
This is my gift to you today...a breath prayer. I can't tell you how many times I have used this scripture as a breath prayer. Especially at night. I know that I am the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night...my mind racing, my breath racing, my heart racing....tossing in bed...turning over thoughts in my head....where I failed...how much I have to do...worries...concerns...cares. Anybody else ever do this?
What I sometimes remember to do is to pray. I start slowing my breath down. I start to say this verse from I Peter, Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you. My heart rate goes down. My blood pressure goes down. When the particular anxiety comes to me, I throw it to God. I visualize the anxiety and toss it to God who cares for me.
Try it. This is my gift to you. And that would make a good message, just that alone, a breath prayer, casting our cares to God who loves us. That would be a witness to our faith also, that we would spend as much time and energy in praying to God as we do focusing on our anxiety. That was all I was going to say, a simple message of tossing our cares to God.
But I went deeper. I got to reading the commentaries. They gave me the context for this letter. In the year 64 A.D., there was a big fire in Rome. Nero, the emperor, blamed the fire on the Christians. Until this time, Christians were considered to be sort of a branch of the Jewish faith, and therefore protected under the government. By being made scapegoats for the fire, the Christians came to be persecuted. Some were harassed. Some were killed. Peter is writing to them to maintain hope during a time of trial. He says, Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you.
This may be our context today. You may get bullied at school for your beliefs. People at work may treat you unkindly for your faith stance. You may still need to claim this breath prayer as you deal with persecution for your faith today.
However, there are some places where it is difficult to be a Christian today, where persecution is very real. Can you imagine trying to live as a Christian in North Korea, or Iraq, or Egypt? Maybe our breath prayer today is to remember them when we say, Cast all your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you.
That would be a good message also. I could have quit there, but I went deeper. I got to reflecting on who I am today. I am a rich, white, male, leader of church. I get to stand here and lead worship. I have a lot of power. I wondered if I had ever hurt others by my stance.
I am not mean or vicious. I don't go out of my way to make life hard on others. But I was at a meeting on Thursday. Fourteen of us United Methodist pastors had gathered for lunch. We are all in various stages of becoming affiliated with the Reconciling Ministries Network. This is a group, a movement within the United Methodist Church to be totally accepting of all persons, especially those of the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender community. We had to confess. I had to confess. I had often been silent when I should have spoken up. I stood by silently while others were hurt for their stance. I realized as a leader in the church I had gotten on the other side of the power differential where I was persecuting people by my passive position.
Here I had to take a really deep breath. Cast all your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you. I have been pushed recently to take a leadership role in the Reconciling Ministries Network. I am now the coordinator/convener of the Austin area pastors.
I realize my need for forgiveness. The passage from I Peter says to humble ourselves, to turn to the God of all grace, who restores, strengthens, and establishes us.
I realize that this breath prayer is not just for me. The pronouns are all plural. It is "you all." That is what we are praying for "All of you cast your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you all."
That's the good news I have to share today.
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